By Ms Anousha Mishra

Podcast by Ms Anshika Nigam

(1)

HE DEGRADED ME AND HUMILIATED ME IN ORDER TO FEEL LIKE A MAN,
HE SLAMMED MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL TO SATISFY HIS MISCONSTRUED EGO.
I COVERED UP MY SCARS, HID THE BRUISES ON MY FACE AND HANDS,
STRIPPED OF IT’S SELF WORTH, MY SOUL WITH THE REMNANTS OF COURAGE CONTINUED TO ROW.
I REALIZED I COULD NO LONGER BE SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF HIS RAGE,
NOW MY WOUNDED HEART, MY CONTUSED FACE NO LONGER WISHED TO BE UNSEEN.
THE SPARK FLAMED INTO A BONFIRE AS I TURNED THE PAGE,
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR HOW FEARLESS I HAVE BEEN.
(2)
LOOKING IN THE MIRROR I COULD ONLY FEEL HATE AT WHAT I SAW,
MY REFLECTION PUSHED ME INTO A DEEP HOLE I TOOK MONTHS TO CLIMB UP FROM.
DAY AFTER DAY I STARVED MYSELF TO GET A SLIM WAIST AND A SHARP JAW,
WANTING TO CUT THOSE CURVES, I FELT HELPLESS DESPITE KNOWING I WAS WRONG.
THOUGH IT TOOK MONTHS, MY INNER SELF HELPED ME EMBRACE WHO I WAS,
BIT BY BIT I CLIMBED BACK UP FROM THAT DEEP HOLE AGAIN.
NOW WHEN I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, I SAW A WARRIOR ARMOURED WITH HER LOSS.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR MY VICTORY OVER MY PAIN.
(3)
CALLED BY DIFFERENT NAMES, I WAS HUMILIATED, INSULTED AND EMBARRASSED EVERY SECOND,
THEY TOLD ME I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH AND THAT I WAS UGLY AND USELESS.
MADE INTO AN OBJECT OF RIDICULE, MY SELF-ESTEEM THEY HAD WEAKENED,
NOT A PERSON BUT A VICTIM OF THEIR MISMANAGED INSECURITIES AND EMOTIONAL MESS.
BUT DEEP INSIDE MYSELF, I HEARD A VOICE SPEAKING OF MY POWER AND MY COURAGE,
AND THEN THE LIGHT OF STRENGTH ENTERED THROUGH THE CRACKS OF MY BROKEN SELF.
LIKE A FLOWER IN A DESERT I BLOOMED TO BREAK OPEN THAT DEBASED CAGE,
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL TO HAVE STOOD UP FOR MYSELF.
(4)
LOOKING UP AT THE CEILING ONCE AGAIN I WAS UNABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT,
THE DEMONS IN MY HEAD WERE SCREAMING AND THE MONSTER WAS DANCING UNDER THE BED.
LIFE DIDN’T SEEM EXCITING AS BEFORE AND I KNEW I COULD NO LONGER FIGHT,
MY MIND URGED ME TO END MY LIFE BUT THEN I READ WHAT DOLLY PARTON HAD SAID,
“STORMS MAKE TREES TAKE DEEPER ROOTS” AND IT MADE ME SEE THE LIGHT,
I FELT STRONG AND BRAVE AND SET OUT TO DEAL WITH THE DEMON INSIDE ME.
I ALLOWED MYSELF TO MAKE MISTAKES AND BEING OKAY WITH NOT ALWAYS BEING RIGHT,
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR THE BEAUTY IN THE TAINTED WORLD I COULD NOW SEE.
(5)
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR HOW FEARLESS I HAVE BEEN,
INHALED COURAGE AND EXHALED FEAR I RAN TOWARDS THE FUTURE ME I HAD SEEN.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR MY VICTORY OVER MY PAIN,
DIDN’T WAIT FOR THE STORM TO PASS, I LEARNT HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL TO HAVE STOOD UP FOR MYSELF,
DOUSED THE FIRE THAT CAME TO BURN ME BUT BLAZED THAT INSIDE MY STRONGER SELF.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR THE BEAUTY IN THE TAINTED WORLD I COULD SEE,
I GREW STRONGER WHEN TEMPERED IN FIRE, NOT JUST SURVIVED BUT BECAME A STRONGER ME.

The author has just passed her intermediate from Loreto Convent Intermediate College, Lucknow. She loves to compose poems and read fiction genre.