WALKING THROUGH FIRE

By Ms Anousha Mishra

Podcast by Ms Anshika Nigam

You can listen to the article here or read the transcript below…

(1)

HE DEGRADED ME AND HUMILIATED ME IN ORDER TO FEEL LIKE A MAN,
HE SLAMMED MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL TO SATISFY HIS MISCONSTRUED EGO.
I COVERED UP MY SCARS, HID THE BRUISES ON MY FACE AND HANDS,
STRIPPED OF IT’S SELF WORTH, MY SOUL WITH THE REMNANTS OF COURAGE CONTINUED TO ROW.
I REALIZED I COULD NO LONGER BE SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF HIS RAGE,
NOW MY WOUNDED HEART, MY CONTUSED FACE NO LONGER WISHED TO BE UNSEEN.
THE SPARK FLAMED INTO A BONFIRE AS I TURNED THE PAGE,
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR HOW FEARLESS I HAVE BEEN.
(2)
LOOKING IN THE MIRROR I COULD ONLY FEEL HATE AT WHAT I SAW,
MY REFLECTION PUSHED ME INTO A DEEP HOLE I TOOK MONTHS TO CLIMB UP FROM.
DAY AFTER DAY I STARVED MYSELF TO GET A SLIM WAIST AND A SHARP JAW,
WANTING TO CUT THOSE CURVES, I FELT HELPLESS DESPITE KNOWING I WAS WRONG.
THOUGH IT TOOK MONTHS, MY INNER SELF HELPED ME EMBRACE WHO I WAS,
BIT BY BIT I CLIMBED BACK UP FROM THAT DEEP HOLE AGAIN.
NOW WHEN I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, I SAW A WARRIOR ARMOURED WITH HER LOSS.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR MY VICTORY OVER MY PAIN.
(3)
CALLED BY DIFFERENT NAMES, I WAS HUMILIATED, INSULTED AND EMBARRASSED EVERY SECOND,
THEY TOLD ME I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH AND THAT I WAS UGLY AND USELESS.
MADE INTO AN OBJECT OF RIDICULE, MY SELF-ESTEEM THEY HAD WEAKENED,
NOT A PERSON BUT A VICTIM OF THEIR MISMANAGED INSECURITIES AND EMOTIONAL MESS.
BUT DEEP INSIDE MYSELF, I HEARD A VOICE SPEAKING OF MY POWER AND MY COURAGE,
AND THEN THE LIGHT OF STRENGTH ENTERED THROUGH THE CRACKS OF MY BROKEN SELF.
LIKE A FLOWER IN A DESERT I BLOOMED TO BREAK OPEN THAT DEBASED CAGE,
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL TO HAVE STOOD UP FOR MYSELF.
(4)
LOOKING UP AT THE CEILING ONCE AGAIN I WAS UNABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT,
THE DEMONS IN MY HEAD WERE SCREAMING AND THE MONSTER WAS DANCING UNDER THE BED.
LIFE DIDN’T SEEM EXCITING AS BEFORE AND I KNEW I COULD NO LONGER FIGHT,
MY MIND URGED ME TO END MY LIFE BUT THEN I READ WHAT DOLLY PARTON HAD SAID,
“STORMS MAKE TREES TAKE DEEPER ROOTS” AND IT MADE ME SEE THE LIGHT,
I FELT STRONG AND BRAVE AND SET OUT TO DEAL WITH THE DEMON INSIDE ME.
I ALLOWED MYSELF TO MAKE MISTAKES AND BEING OKAY WITH NOT ALWAYS BEING RIGHT,
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR THE BEAUTY IN THE TAINTED WORLD I COULD NOW SEE.
(5)
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR HOW FEARLESS I HAVE BEEN,
INHALED COURAGE AND EXHALED FEAR I RAN TOWARDS THE FUTURE ME I HAD SEEN.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR MY VICTORY OVER MY PAIN,
DIDN’T WAIT FOR THE STORM TO PASS, I LEARNT HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL TO HAVE STOOD UP FOR MYSELF,
DOUSED THE FIRE THAT CAME TO BURN ME BUT BLAZED THAT INSIDE MY STRONGER SELF.
I WALKED THROUGH FIRE GRATEFUL FOR THE BEAUTY IN THE TAINTED WORLD I COULD SEE,
I GREW STRONGER WHEN TEMPERED IN FIRE, NOT JUST SURVIVED BUT BECAME A STRONGER ME.

The author has just passed her intermediate from Loreto Convent Intermediate College, Lucknow. She loves to compose poems and read fiction genre.

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